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Get help
You are not alone, and it is not your fault.
Whatever is happening at home, you can talk to us in confidence. You don’t have to be sure it’s abuse, and you don’t have to leave to get support.
Emergency
999If you can’t speak on a mobile, stay on the line and press 55 when asked.
24-hour helpline
0808 2000 247National Domestic Abuse Helpline, free and confidential.
Birmingham
0808 800 0028Birmingham & Solihull Women’s Aid, Mon–Fri 9.30am–5pm.
Talk to ODARA
0121 392 9499Leave a safe number and a safe time, and we’ll call you back.
Is this abuse?
Domestic abuse is any controlling, threatening, violent or degrading behaviour by a partner, ex-partner or family member. It isn’t always physical. You may be experiencing abuse if someone:
- controls your money, phone, documents or who you see
- makes you afraid, puts you down, or checks where you are
- threatens you, your children, or to send you abroad
- pressures you to marry, or says you have brought shame on the family
- hurts you, or forces you into sexual acts
- uses your immigration status against you
Abuse can come from a husband, in-laws, parents or other relatives. Honour-based abuse and forced marriage are crimes in the UK.
If you are planning to leave
Leaving can be the most dangerous time. If you can, talk to us or a helpline first so we can plan with you. Try to keep these somewhere safe, or with someone you trust:
- Passports, visas, BRP and birth certificates
- Bank cards and any benefit letters
- Medication and prescriptions
- Phone and charger, and important numbers written down
- Children’s red book, school details and a favourite toy
- Any evidence: photos, messages, letters
If you can’t take these, go anyway. Your safety comes first and we can help replace documents.
When you contact ODARA
What happens next
We call you back safely
Tell us a safe time and number. If someone else answers, we won’t say who we are.
In your language
Speak to a woman who understands your culture, or we’ll arrange an interpreter you don’t know.
A plan that fits you
That might be a safe home, support where you live now, or help to get a court order. You decide.
Questions women ask us
Before you get in touch
Will you tell my family or community?
No. What you tell us is confidential. We would only share information without your agreement if a child or someone else was at serious risk, and we would tell you first wherever it is safe to do so.
Can I bring my children?
Yes. Some of our homes are for women with children. Tell us their ages and we’ll talk through the right home for your family.
What if I have no recourse to public funds?
Please still contact us. We will talk through your options and help you reach specialist immigration advice and services that can house you.
Do I have to go to the police?
No. Many women we support never report to the police. If you do want to, we can support you through it.
I’m a man experiencing abuse. Can you help?
Our safe homes are for women. We can help men find relocation support, or you can call the Men’s Advice Line on 0808 801 0327.
Forced marriage or honour-based abuse
Call us, or Karma Nirvana’s helpline on 0800 5999 247. If you are abroad or worried you will be taken abroad, the Forced Marriage Unit is on 020 7008 0151.
Worried someone can see what you look at online?
Our short guide shows how to delete your history and keep your phone safe.